Sarah Silverman, known for her hilarious and sarcastic sense of humor, recently opened up about her battle with depression in a candid interview with Glamour.
In her new movie “I Smile Back”, directed by Adam Salky, Silverman plays Laney Brooks, a mother who battles depression. And as it turns out, the project would bring back old demons for Silverman. “I knew playing Laney Brooks would take me back to a very dark place,” she said.
Silverman, 44, then described the panic attacks that started when she was 13 years old, after coming back from what should have been a fun camping trip.
“I first experienced depression when I was 13. I was walking off a bus from a school camping trip. The trip had been miserable: I was, sadly, a bed wetter, and I had Pampers hidden in my sleeping bag—a gigantic and shameful secret to carry,” she said. “Something shifted inside me. It happened as fast as the sun going behind a cloud. You know how you can be fine one moment, and the next it’s, “Oh my God, I f—king have the flu!”? It was like that. Only this flu lasted for three years. My whole perspective changed. I couldn’t deal with being with my friends, I didn’t go to school for months, and I started having panic attacks.”
After meeting with different therapists and experimenting with various medications, Silverman got her depression under control. Years later, when she was 22 living in New York, the comedian explains that “something came over [her] again.” At the suggestion of doctors, she starting taking Klonopin, to blocks her panic attacks.
“It saved my life, even when I was fired from SNL. To this day I have a bottle of seven pills in my backpack that I never touch because just knowing that they’re there is all I need.”
Silverman is currently filming “The Book of Henry”, directed by Colin Trevorrow with a script from Gregg Hurwitz.
“I Smile Back” hits theaters October 23.